17 March 2008

Orthodox? You keep using that word...

C. Michael Patton, a classmate of mine back in seminary days, has a conversation going on about the kind of Orthodox we claim to be. I have pointed my readers to his blog before. When I posted on my choice to seek orders in the Anglican Church, he was kind enough to point his readers over here, and besides I read his blog daily--Usually good reading (but then, not all posts are Michael's!).

Chime in over at Parchment & Pen.

Kind of reminds me of that famous quote from Inigo Montoya in The Princess Bride.
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. "

14 March 2008


In case you're thinking of reading George Barna & Frank Viola's recent book, let me save you the dime and the time. In my job I come across books from time to time. Mostly I just process them and push them on. Sometimes I cannot help but read their jackets, TOCs, and contents. This one I could not help. My summary of it's logic follows:

All those christians that wear clothing are children of Satan. You see, Satan brought evil into the world and Adam and Eve took it into their beings. Clothing is introduced to us because of Sin, i.e. a corruption of the way things ought to be. So since nowhere in scripture, particularly not in the New Testament, are we commanded to wear that reprehensible accretion called clothing we should NOT EVER do such a thing. To do so is Pagan. Take off your grave clothes. yuck.

Barna and Viola basically thumb their noses at all others who dare to think about Christianity, especially those clueless Church Infants [we normally call them Church Fathers], who brought every corruption from Roman society and Greek philosophy into our pure Jesusanity they could get away with. Anyone else have any ideas?...you're wrong because you're viewing it through your corrupt Demoninational lenses. You are so blinded. Thanks, I guess, for preserving the Bible [if in fact you did so without corruption] for me to learn about my private Jezuz.

09 March 2008

Nicely Done

I am not Roman Catholic, but I like this piece.
A little 'rocky' at the end, but good.

03 March 2008

Lost in Revision

Well, I could not help it. A little levity and satire follows. Don't read any further if you want Holy Stuff to read for your spiritual gut. You were warned.

At the online Anglican community at the bottom of my webpage, I've been a little outspoken lately about revising the language of the prayer book. Some folks support revising (updating) the language (but not theology) of the 1662 & 1928 prayer books that classical Anglicans hold so dear. I put forward a view that we should not do this because we will lose very many beautiful phrases and thoughts that shape us as worshipers. Lex orandi lex credendi and all that.

Mindful that aesthetics are at stake, let me post here some prayers following the translation advice over at www Engrish com. Go there for the rules. Read below the results.
Disclaimer! I don't think updating the language of the prayer book will necessarily produce the following results! Please understand that these examples are meant to overstate the case and be funny. Ahem.

General confession (from Morning Prayer):

Omnipotent God and most mercies deep father; We error, came off from the method like the sheep which is gone. We continued the many our itself central devices and craving. We happened vis-a-vis holy law. Those things we should do, us being canceled, you went away; And we us should do did those things; And there is no health in us. But, of O in our miserable offenders, there is a mercy mainly. The God of O of the people who confess extra their defect. The people who are recovery; Following to thy promise, it declared our main things to the Christ yes Christ's mankind. And subsidy, most mercies for that for O deep father; From now on, being fair in glory of thy holy name, and perhaps us calm life, you live. Amen

Nicene Creed:

I faith the God 1 omnipotent God of the father, am visible in the heaven, and the earth and the eye believe the manufacturer of all things which are not visible: And 1 being main, the son where Christ's yes Christ God is born simply; Before the God all world it is born from that father, very the light/write of God, very God of the light/write of God; It is born, it is not made; It is one substance where the father has been attached; Who where thing everything was made by: It comes, with Mary's the Holy Mother saintly spirit, manifesting, the person, and it makes, high with our people, someone for our rescues from the heaven: And and it was controlled our because under Pontius Pilate; He was buried to suffer,: And, 3rd day he rose following to Hebrews' Bible, stand for the second time: And being risen in the heaven, with the right hand of the father putting: And he comes with glory for the second time, is fast and judges the deceased; Someone's kingdom there is no edge? And I faith saintly spirit of the life which advances from the father and the son, believe the main thing, and the contribution person; It was worshiped together, praised someone of the father and the sons; Story it is high someone, with the predicator: And I believe one holy Catholic teaching and the apostle church: I recognize one baptism for pardoning the crime: And I search the revival of the deceased: And life of the world where it comes. Amen.

If that doesn't do it for you...

The Lord's prayer:

Our fathers who to the heaven are converted the thy name which is holy. Afterlife you. When with the earth there is a heaven, simultaneously, it ended your will. Our everyday pans give this day in us. When we who invade and us vis-a-vis us are permitted simultaneously, permit our invasions in us. And do to lead us to the temptation which is not, but give birth from badness. The kingdom, and power, and glory for your are and. Amen.

I feel better.